ColdTowne Theater’s newest main stage show, Missed Connections ATX explores the sentimental, fantastical, and downright raunchy nature of austin’s most impersonal personal ads. We sat down to talk to show’s director, Chelsea Bunn, who handpicked a list of her favorite ads that aren’t going to make it into this run of shows.

Chelsea Bunn, Director of Missed Connections
Director of Missed Connections

First of all, tell us a little about the show?

The show has a five act structure and marries short- and long-form improv. Each act is inspired by ads from Craigslist’s Missed Connections section, which the cast has never seen before!

Over the course of collecting ads for the show, how many ads do you think you’ve read?

Probably over 1,000! The show spans Central Texas, so in addition to Austin, I’ve also been pulling ads placed in Round Rock, Georgetown, San Marcos, and San Antonio.

Wow, that’s a lot of personal ads! Have you noticed any trends?

I’ve seen plenty of dick pics (reader beware! lol). A lot of Missed Connections seem to occur in gyms, barber shops, and grocery stores– where it’s generally expected that you mind your own business. I will say that I have no interest in entering a 24-Hour Fitness or Gold’s Gym locker room or sauna ever again… Some Central Texans are very free sexually!

Missed Connections cast member reads a Craigslist post during the show
Missed Connections cast member reads a Craigslist post during the show

OK, tell us about this list you’ve prepared for us…

Alas, we could only cram so many wonderful ads into our six week run. So, I curated a list of some personal favorites that aren’t making the run of shows. I hope you enjoy– and come see the show!

Ladies & Gentlemen, without any further adieu, Chelsea’s list:

I saw you on the game show this past week!!! – m4w (Austin)
I saw you on The Price Is Right this past week (I think it aired 1/11/17). You are gorgeous!!! Bubbly personality too! That’s a rare combo. Are you single? This is the weirdest way to meet, but my whole life has been full of really cool, yet weird stories. Hopefully this will be an ongoing story!!! Your first name starts with a “C.” If you see this, please reply with your full first name as the subject of your email. Also, please tell me more about yourself and send me a picture of you. I’m a great guy who will dispel all of the Craigslist stereotypes! I’ll send a picture with my reply to you along with more about myself. Thanks!!!

Your Name is Joe & Your Wife Works in Leander (Leander)
I don’t really know you but i know & work with your wife at a doctors office. Since i work with her, i don’t want to create work related drama, because i need my job. So i’m hoping someone on here knows you and can relate the message back that your wife is having an affair with someone here.

I don’t want to create unneeded issues for anyone else for my lack of detail on who & where. So if you think this is you, and want me to verify. Reply with your wife’s first name and if it’s her, i’ll reply back with her last name & vehicle she drives in.

Missed Connections cast during the opening weekend.
Missed Connections cast during the opening weekend.

Early morning..I need to learn basic vehicle maintenance – w4m (Southwest Pkwy)
Thank you to the man that changed my tire in the cold this morning. I don’t know who you are, and doubt you will see this. I was scared and cannot thank you enough! You were gone before I had a chance to stop and pay you because I had my mom on the phone. I feel so bad because it was freezing cold, still dark and you still helped. Thank you so much, I was really worried when you first stopped..(too many horror movies I guess)

Guy eating potato – w4m
I’m sorry for staring at you while you enjoyed your potato.

It looked really good. I’m going to get a hot plain jane potato soon.

that was some party. sad it had to end. – m4ww (my Dr. office)
The dr said everything would be fine in a few weeks. I should have known better. you guys are too tempting.

Lastly, and not for the squeamish…

farting in my mouth – m4w (my bed)
age: 35

I miss the way you hold your ass open and held your stinky farts in till I put my lips around your puckered asshole and then push out a hot steaming bomb in my mouth and I’d lick the inside of your ass while you blow out.

For more Missed Connections entertainment, check out Missed Connections ATX Saturdays, February 4 – March 11 starting at 7:00pm. Tickets are $12 at the door and $10 online.